Alive, energized, Thankful… Let’s do this! There was a time when I just thought of working out made me want to cry. When I was in the middle of my battle with anxiety, eating disorder and depression… (Can you say head case) I could barely muster the energy to take a shower!! So now that I wake up with ENERGY, my day filled with fun and LAUGHTER, and livin this super kick ass life … I am so grateful for every minute of it. I remember saying over and over ” I just want to feel normal again” and”I want to fell myself” Now I do!! For all of you out there SUFFERING.. There is HOPE!! Don’t you dare give up.. Medication doesn’t always relive the symptoms, but small life changes CAN. DIG IN, reach out and cling to Hope.


being fit and healthy keeps you YOUNG!! So at least do it for the wrinkles, will, But Seriously… Don’t belive me?? Look at the people your age who don’t work out, eat well or at lest try to live a healthy life…

Heres the deal.. You’ve got to let go of the weight, pant size, or”perfect” body you’re working for. Workout because you want to , because it feels good, makes you feel good, and keeps you YOUNG and wrinkle free….

No matter hat fitness level you reach, you will ALWAYS be working and striving for more/better. That can be  a very unhealthy path UNLESS you’re simply working for more/better overall HEALTH and not just a freakin 6 pack

Learn to listen to your body and give it what it needs, whether the be more movement, rest, or nourishment. Focus on and appreciate what your body can do and the benefits that come with that

So many times I think we focus on why things aren’t working or what is going wrong instead of focusing on what we could be DOING to CHANGE those things.  Whatever we focus on the most becomes the biggest!  We can think and dwell on the things in our lives so much that we make them into monsters and ultimately end up paralzing ourselves with fear.  So why would we focus on the things that we don’t like?  I don’t know about you but I want more of what I DO like in my life!  I want to share with you something that has changed my life, so grab a pen and paper…

Start by thinking about what your “dream life” looks like.  What do you picture when you day dream about your future or think about your ideal life?  If all the stars were in line and everything was just as you wanted it to be, what does that look like?  Now write that down on a piece of paper.  Write down every detail of what your ideal life looks like, where you live, what you do, how you look, etc.  Next write down all the things that would have to happen in order for that to become a reality.  DON’T GET OVERWHELMED AND QUIT… JUST WRITE.  Once you’re done with that, circle the things that you can begin to change RIGHT AWAY and commit to changing AT LEAST one of them this week, then another one the next week.  Doing this simple act of WRITING everything out really enables you to see things more clearly and realize that those little monsters aren’t as big as they seem.  Also, committing and following thru on changing one small thing a week slowly builds up your cofidence and belief in yourself to go after those big amazing goals and dreams that once seemed so far away!

Another thing I’d love for you to do is set aside a day and time each week that you re-write the goals and dreams you have for yourself. I  every Tuesday morning  write down my  goals for the year, EVERY WEEK.  This keeps those things on our minds all the time, keeps me focused, and keeps me on the same page!  It’s amazing how quickly you reach your goals when you recommit yourself to them every week!!


If you want to change your life, be more fulfilled and happier, YOU have to DO something about it!  YOU.  No one is going to magically create a wonderful life for you and it’s no one elses responsibility to make you happy.  YOU have to make yourself happy.  YOU have to go for your “dream life”!  Here’s a little test I like to do… Imagine that you were going to die in a minute, what is it you would kick yourself for not doing while you were on earth?!  Whatever that thing is, you HAVE to do it, whether it scares you or not! =)


unconditional love is, in essence, true love.— so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that deserves a definition of its own. unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought of what we might get ourselves. Its unconditional love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. now for me this is slightly “touchy-feely”. Even dipping into the conversation about love and true love and what is real love can give the impression that we’ve gone soft and “hippie,” but it’s important for each of us to be aware of when we have experienced unconditional love, and more importantly, how to share it with another individual. I have been talking about this behaviour for years but only recently understood it on a deeper level and realize theres a lot more to it than we think.

It is not unconditional love when other people like us for doing what they want or because we give them what they demand of us. under those conditions we’re just “paying” for love in a way ( or literally in some cases) with what we do to get that attention. We can be certain that we’re receiving unconditional love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated with us. When we make a seemingly poor choice about our lives, take a wrong turn, undo or sabotage our own happiness… its unconditional love that keeps the right there, not judging, or punishing but loving without conditions. It’s that love alone that has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.

To love another person under any circumstances is not relegated to passionate love either. It is not what the pop psychs refer to as “enabling” or just letting someone be discounting to us and you continue to accept this neglect. Unconditional love allows you to love yourself first, so that you have the strength of heart and mind to give the same to another person. Friends and family can completely unconditional with their love for you, however to so pretty rare; we are programmed to be conditional, to expect something in return for our love. I cannot say with complete confidence that we don’t place some degree on conditions on almost all our communication and interactions. We are quite specifically conditioned to only give love when we are reciprocated, and most often according to what we think is worthy of our love. Unconditional love is not a loan needing to be repaid, but a string-less gift of the heart- a gesture where only you benefit directly

On the occasion you are fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of such an act of thoughtfulness, the experience can be both endearing and a bit awkward—- what to you do for someone who gives to you unconditionally of themselves and asks for nothing in return? recently i had such an experience and its has given me a sense of value that is very treasured. Genuine unconditional love is a little strange to receive in our world of expectations and reactions, and yet if you allow yourself to be the receiver, i can tell you its pretty terrific

So how do we love unconditionally 

  1. Loving unconditionally is more a behaviour versus a feeling.  loving is the act of extending ourselves, vulnerabilities and all, into uncharted emotional territory with the belief that regardless of the outcome, we want to benefit another person. imagine love as a behaviour in and of itself, with the satisfaction being that feeling you get when you act a certain way  for them,  not when someone else acts a certain way to you. this becomes a pure act of generosity.

2) Ask yourself “ Am i truly acting with the most love i can for this person at this moment”? I know for myself i can come to a situation with my ego too big and in the way of my unconditional responses… this stuff has to be a conscious act for most of us, so check yourself. Unconditional love is a entirely new process for us in every situation, ad we want to convey sincerity with each person we extend that love to so that it is genuine and not conditional

3) I have a situation in my life right now thats uncomfortable to accept and my behaviours and reactions, while not harmful to me or to others, are not necessarily in the best interest of my personal growth. To love someone unconditionally does not mean that the act of that love is always going to be easy or feel comfortable. To be there for someone when they have challenges and need to foster growth, even those individuals in the fog of confusion know that there is going to be pain and some serious discomfort—- if you choose to protect them from these feelings and emotions you’re not loving them unconditionally. Unconditional love means that you tell them the truth with gentle, kind communication, and you are there, without judgement, to see them to the other side.

4.) What does it mean if you are someone who only loves others, giving of yourself freely without any boundaries? That is you being a “people pleaser” which means you are not being unconditional or loving to yourself first. Let me tell you, playing the matyr is not rewarding or validating and only leaves you and the other person resentful. Work to recognize when doing what is best for you first might sometimes have you prioritizing your needs and desires above someone else’s. This is a healthy part of defining who we are as individuals and crucial to know your own gauge for self love. Remember, only when we know intrinsically that we have value to be loved, we can give love cleanly.

5)  Forgiveness is so important. Again, this is a behaviour i like to think i have mastered but I haven’t. It’s probably the most difficult and truly unconditional act we perform. In any circumstance where we feel we have been wronged, neglected, pr taken advantage of, if someone doesn’t apologize, its inherently the most loving of them and to yourself to choose to let go of any anger and resentment. Harboring that energy is hurtful to you spiritually, and over time, physically. Noted that forgiving “is not something we do, but we are” Granting forgiveness unconditionally isn’t communicating you’ll allow someone to be hurtful or discounting. The act of practicing unconditional love will be tainted and not at all healing if you choose to hold onto negative stuff. I’m preaching to my won choir here, again. This is something we consciously work on everyday . There is not perfect, simple way to love with out conditions.


at our worst

To all the people who still love us at our most vulnerable, and at our most hideous state, thank you.

Thank you for telling us to get the fuck up when we are wasting our days crying in our beds. Thank you for giving us tough love when you know we need it most. And thank you for slapping some makeup on us to make us look a tiny bit better when tears won’t stop rolling down our eyes.

Thank you for giving us tissues when our boyfriend breaks up with us out of the blue on a Tuesday. Thank you for giving us a shoulder to lean on when we ask a million question about what we did wrong or where it went south.

Thank you for reassuring us that it wasn’t our loss. It was theirs.

Thank you for telling us when a boy we meet is trouble and that we need to stay away from him. Thank you for yelling at us when we go and meet up with them anyway and end up hurt just like you said we would. Thank you for not judging us when we tell you that we kissed them and liked it. And than you for letting us sleep in your bed when he never calls back.

Thank you for giving us your last bite of cake when you know we need it more than you do. Thank you for dancing on top of tables alongside us with too much wine in our glasses, and laughing hysterically while we sing at the top of our lungs off tune. And thank you for giving us extra strength tylenol and tea when we wake up the next morning with a nasty hangover.

Thank you for loving us despite our downfalls and our negative traits.

Thank you for adoring us when we don’t have anyone else to adore us. Thank you for the pep talks before exams, and the encouraging phone calls before first dates. Thank you for the hugs when you know something is wrong even when we don’t tell you anything.

Thank you for the memories that we can reminisce about together until we make even greater memories.

And thank you for loving us when we are the worst people in the universe who give you every reason to walk out on us. Thank you for standing by our side. And thank you for never giving up on us despite our thoughtless actions.

Thank you for the unconditional love. Always. Thank you for always believing in us we stop believing in our dreams. And thank you for loving us, when we can’t even bear to love ourselves.


There is a well-known unconscious defense mechanism in psychology—compartmentalization. All humans compartmentalize. It’s one of the ways we make sense of the world, putting things in little boxes, so we can understand and move through the world more effectively.

But compartmentalization can cause more harm than good. Especially when it comes to addiction. We learn that our addictive behavior provides us something we are missing, some relief from anxiety, some focus free of the stressful distractions of daily life. Then we notice we want to keep using it, using it in a way that may not be acceptable to us

or to our community. We want the resulting ambivalence and cognitive dissonance to go away. So we put the addiction in a compartment, over to the side in our psyche. A little box of respite and relief when we need it, and no one else needs to know about it or disapprove.

The problem is that, in addiction, the compartment starts to leak. The tendrils of our secret start to surround us to the point where everyone else can see that it’s a problem–before we do. We think it’s still back in its box, there for when we need it. But now it’s taking up more and more space in our mind and in our life. And the leaky compartment is getting more and more difficult to manage.

Addictions aren’t the only thing we compartmentalize to our detriment. Sometimes we also compartmentalize our recovery. Our recovery is boxed away in the meeting we go to on Tuesdays, or the medicine we take every morning, or the program we went to for 3 months.

Our recovery is under control: it’s in a box. But unlike addiction, our recovery compartment doesn’t usually leak. It just sits there. It doesn’t become the central part of our daily life that the addiction was. In fact, with recovery, compartmentalization poses the opposite threat: the danger that it may dry up and disappear if left in its box.

Rather than compartmentalizing our recovery, we need to integrate it with the rest of our life if we want our addiction to shift. When we quit doing whatever we did, it

leaves a very big hole that something else needs to fill. If nothing fills that hole, whatever it is we quit is going to come back. A compartmentalized approach to recovery is not enough to allow the strands of workable change, the tendrils of real transformation, to be established and maintained.

It doesn’t matter what you do, whether it’s HAT, MAT or Hazelden. It matters how you do it. It matters that you carry your recovery around with you like a precious jewel wherever you go, not leave it in a safety deposit box you visit on weekends. People say that spirituality shouldn’t be something you talk about in church every Sunday, then lose sight of the minute someone cuts you off pulling out of the parking lot. Neither should our recovery be. Recovery is about purposeful re-engagement and reintegration into this absurd enterprise we call life.

More effective treatment approaches actually fight the compartmentalization of recovery. They are integrative, and they fold treatment modalities that are effective for individuals into their daily life, their personal ecosystem. The community of caregivers, friends, family and fellow addicts are all connected and

can troubleshoot and collaborate to solve problems as they arise. There is the feeling that we are all in this together, all on the same team. When we feel this way, alienation tends to dissolve, and the need to compartmentalize, to control, lightens up. It’s safe for our recovery to emerge from its box, like a butterfly from its cocoon.

How do you compartmentalize your addiction, and why? How do you compartmentalize your recovery, and why? What would help you take your recovery out of its box and integrate it into all parts of your life? If we can find the answers to these questions, we can learn new ways of being that will take us beyond our addictions. As we learn to dissolve these boxes, we can build new lives. As I once heard an old timer say, “This isn’t a fucking dress rehearsal. This is it.” When we have everything to lose, we have to be open to anything that makes a difference. And compartmentalizing our recovery, putting it in a box, is unlikely to take us where we need to go.

meant to be

we have purposefully tried to stay away, tried to end this, tried to make this as a flash in the pan as assumed. It just won’t quite our love… it won’t die

our paths were meant to be crossed through each others and never unwound. even when we ourselves are trying to do the unwinding. We will quickly be put back in our place. This is meant to stay… i believe it… just as you said in the beginning ” meeting you was my … for a reason”

you and i can sit here and think there will be some intervention that could/will separate us. The sooner we accept the fact that our love and our lives are going to be for each other the sooner we can enjoy this

new path new chapters to way to our destiny

you might think

you might think you don’t matter in this world, but because of you someone has a favourite mug to drink their tea out of each morning that you bought them… Someone hears a song on the radio and it reminds them of you… Some one has read a book you recommended to them and gotten lost in the pages. Someones remembered a joke you told them and smiled to themselves on the bus. Someones tried on a top and felt beautiful because you complimented them on it. Someone has a memory that makes them grin that involves you. someone now likes themselves that little bit more because you made a passing comment, that made them feel good. Never think you don’t have an impact, your fingerprints cant be wiped away from the little marks of kindness that you’ve left behind


Anywho, I’m always looking for new ways to mix it up with routines like THIS that keep my booty round and lifted!   Share it with someone who loves booty work just as much as you and I do 🙂

Warm Up: Don’t forget your warm-up! I always do a quick warm-up (dancing around to my favorite jams) with plenty of stretching.

In and Outs: 12 reps each round. 

Hold a weight (I used 10lbs) and then hop from a narrow-squat to sumo squat. With these, go as deep as you can! Keep your abs super tight when you do these to keep your back protected because that transition can hurt your back if you don’t do it correctly.

Step-ups: 12 reps on each leg.

You’ll need a chair for these, and you simply just step up on  chair or a bench — whatever you have — and do 12 step-ups on each leg. Be sure to step up on your heel with these so that you feel it directly in your booty.  I like to use 2 15lb or 2 20lb weights.

Skaters, side-to-side: 12 reps on each leg.

With this move you’re going to leap to the side, touch the ground, leap to the other side, touch the ground. Do 12 of these on each leg. If you aren’t hitting the ground…you’re doing these wrong and won’t feel the burn in your booty. Hit the ground! 

Stability Ball – Hamstrings: 15 reps.

Lay flat on your back, put your heels on the stability ball and by curling your heels toward you… bring it in, hold it, and stretch it back out. Do this move slow and controlled so that you really feel it in your glutes! 

Bear: 12 reps on each leg. This is one of my favorite moves! It’s from PiYo and it BURNS not only the glutes, but the abs too! Get down to the floor on your hands and knees, turn to the side and kick your leg up and then back down. This crazy move works your triceps, too!

Repeat all of these moves in 3 rounds. For weights, I use 10 lbs but moving to 15 

It only take about twenty minutes to do three rounds of this booty-liftin’ routine!

let me ask you?

So let me ask you ..

WHY do you want to kick your fatigue to the curb?  

WHY do you want to be able to think clearly?

WHY do you want to feel happiness instead of depression?

WHY do you want to be able to lose weight?

WHY do you want to sleep like a baby?

WHY do you want to feel like YOU again? 

With love I have to tell you, if you don’t get to your deep rooted WHY, you may never get there.

When I thought back to my WHY.. THAT is what kept me going.  

I started envisioning  …

  • waking up happy
  • getting a great night sleep
  • not needing a nap every day
  • being able to take my dogs out for hikes
  • getting my sex drive back

and I knew in my soul that what seemed like torture at the time was all for a PURPOSE!

God doesn’t waste pain.   

From that point forward it was GAME ON.  I was on a MISSION and committed to myself that once I was healthy and healed I was going to find the women who needed me to let them know they weren’t alone!

Am I on a mission to help other women win their fight too?  You bet your ass I am!

The work I put in has allowed me to live a life on my own terms, free from the constraints of fatigue, depression, anxiety, brain fog, or any other health issue.  

But there’s one thing I NOW KNOW for sure…

No one else can do the work for you.

YOU have to do this.

It IS going to be hard, it IS going to be ONE baby step at a time!

But it’s going to be damn near impossible if you don’t make a move.

The “work” starts with change.  Nothing changes until YOU make a move.   Nothing changes until you realize that WHAT YOU’RE DOING ISN’T WORKING.  

The work I put in and continue to push  has allowed me to LIVE my life to the FULLEST.  

The work I put in has allowed me to SIMPLIFY the process for other people so they don’t have to struggle for YEARS like I did.  

I want to invite you to let me walk you through this process.

It’s not just about gaining crazy energy, sleeping better, not being bloated, or losing weight.. those are by products of the process and YOU becoming your best.  Have you ever been a part of a group full of badasses working towards becoming healthier, happier, and even more badass?!  It’s pretty life changing.

you’ll discover exactly how I rebuilt my health so you can start creating the life you WANT to live.

I know it works, because I’ve done it!

And not to be a total girl, but we’re not that different, you and me!  😉